Well it looks like it’s that time of the year again, where the birds are chirping, a chocolate aroma fills the air of every bakery and stores are lined with boxes of hearts with little memos on them. Single people are already creating their meme’s declaring how lonely they will be. If you live under a rock of some sort and have no idea what it is I’m referring to, allow me to clarify—- Valentine’s Day. Also known as Singles Awareness Day.
Personally, I never truly understood the concept of Valentine’s Day. Why only celebrate being romantic with one’s significant other for one day? I mean yes, I suppose being romantic is a special thing which doesn’t have to occur everyday but it certainly should be celebrated more than once a year. That is why I like to refer to this day as singles awareness day. This day seems to have the contrasting effect of primarily highlighting those that aren’t in a relationship.I have witnessed this day lead many people to make unwise decisions based off of their FOMO (fear of missing out). In attempt to have a romantic evening like the rest of the world, people reconnect with toxic past relationships, settle for anything that comes along, or worse some decide to jump all in based off of infatuation. Let’s be honest though. We could blame this on a silly holiday or we could go to the root of the problem. The problem is that as a culture in today’s society we are becoming more afraid of being alone.
We think to be single is to be lonely, making our perception of ourselves to seem incomplete as individuals. Well, what if you were whole all by yourself? Imagine if you used this time that God has allotted for you not to be lonely but to be alone, to become all that you have been placed on this earth to be!
Singleness is a seasonal gift. It is a time in which God has called us to hone in on our
Relationship with Him: How can we learn how to love ourselves or others without knowing the master of love himself? During this time of separation from others, it’s crucial to get the foundation of how to love by creating a relationship with the Lord through his word. Learn about him by reading the bible and applying it to your daily way of living. Then grow in communication with him. How does he speak to you? What does his voice sound like to you? What has he promised you for this life? It is so important to understand your purpose before getting married to another because once we become in covenant with another, compromise comes into play and your purpose may be the very thing having to be sacrificed for whatever reason in order to sustain your covenant.
Relationship with yourself: When I first began to think about this I thought about my childhood friendships and how as a child I would say whatever came to my mind, not considering how that may make the other person feel or how that could affect their perception on that subject. Then I thought of how many people around me have told me how most of their insecurities, fears and doubts have stemmed from interactions they had in their childhood. In order to mature relationally God has to get us alone, to quiet our minds so we can become self- aware and grow to love ourselves so we can learn to love others. If as a child I had been more self-aware I could have stimulated a positive impact on my peers lives rather than walking into relationships with others recklessly because I didn’t know myself. Notice that there is a difference between the word lonely and alone. Alone meaning to be in solidarity with oneself. Lonely refers to being sad because one has no friends or company. God wants us to be separate. Alone but not lonely. When is the last time you looked in the mirror and uttered the wonderful things that you truly love about yourself? When is the last time you took yourself out on a date? When is the last time you did something to better yourself? That’s what loving yourself is about. Embracing all that you are and treating yourself as the royalty that you claim to be. In this process of learning more about yourself and developing your relationship with God you will find out what you’re passionate about, ideally leading to your purpose. Once you discover your purpose it’s time to work, work, work at it, but this will be a blessing because it will align to your passion. Your purpose is your baby, once it’s born it’s time to raise it to be a healthy, functional contribution to society. Leading us to…
Relationships with others: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12 . From the experience of learning how to be loved by God to love ourselves and how to love him we learn how to love others. This is taking that love that God has poured into you and allowing it to give you strength to love and discover yourself and enabling you to give that care and provision to someone else. This can be a spouse, a friend who needs support, a non-profit organization, etc. Lately there has been a huge lack of this in the world. From big, worldly problems like politics that creates a huge objective of division to small, petty issues like merely speaking well of someone that may be more successful than you. Why is it that we struggle to uplift those who are ahead of us or to reach out to those who may need us, at a time when technology is so evolved? It’s because we are lacking self-love and a heart that loves God.
Just like the cross, we go vertically then horizontally, and if those lines don’t intersect at the perfect 90 degree angle. The cross will be crooked and so will your future relationships. So during this time of celebrating romance, I challenge you to first evaluate your state of singleness by taking time to use your singleness to build within, build with God, then build with others.
And if you are single and have already discovered these gifts, I encourage you to wait patiently and productively. All that God has for you will be yours in perfect timing.
Keep the Faith